Marriage Humor .....and then the fight started!!

Wife:            'What are you doing'? 
Husband:     'Nothing'.
Wife:             'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour'.
Husband:      'I was looking for the expiration date'. 


Wife :           'Do you want dinner'?  
Husband:     'Sure! What are my choices'? 
Wife:             'Yes or No'.

       
Wife:         'You always carry my photo in your wallet ...  Why'?
Hubby:       'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and    
                    the problem disappears ...'  
Wife:          'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you'?
Hubby:        'Yes!  I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be    
                    greater than this one'?  


Stress
Reliever Girl:  'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and        
                         lighten your burden'.  
Boy:                 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles'.  

Girl:                  'Well, that's because we aren't married yet'.

   
Son:                  'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my    
                          seat to a lady'.  
Mom:                'Well, you have done the right thing'.  
Son:                 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap'. 

A newly married
man asked his
wife,                  'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune'?  
                          'Honey', the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO    
                          LEFT YOU A FORTUNE'!  


Girl to her
boyfriend:         'One kiss and I'll be yours forever'.
The guy
replies:             'Thanks for the early warning'.


A wife asked
her husband:     'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body'? 
                           He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor'!


Just the Punchline....You set up the joke's premise

.

His wife
replied:                       'Your Horse phoned!!!'


        Give me a sense of humour, Lord,
        Give me the grace to see a joke,
        to get some humor out of life,
        and pass it on to other folks